God is graciously patient.
It amazes just how patient He is with me. I tend to try to use my limited human understanding and apply it God, assuming He will be frustrated with me because that's how I would feel if I were Him. This is silly of me. God cannot be put into a box.
Let me show you a little bit of God's gracious patience with me with a condensed version of how He is growing me this year.
There is a women's Bible Study I regularly attend and it is fabulous. At the beginning of the year, every lady is asked to fill out a "Sister Form" with contact information plus a special section at the end for special gifts. When I first attended this Bible Study in January, I deliberately that "special gift" part blank ... because I knew if I filled out my gifts “they” would ask me to help and I was all set.
But even so, God started planting seeds for me to help with this Bible Study Group on that very first day. God showed me a small need and within my first 15 minutes after coming through those doors, I thought, “I could help with that.”
Fast forward a couple months, God prompted me to share about how the Evangelism study I was in had been influencing my life. So I shared about how I tend to be like Gideon from Judges 6. I trust God can do anything He says He can. . .but sometimes I have trouble believing He wants to use me to do it. I was approached after my speech and was given an application to apply as a lead volunteer on the Board for this Bible Study.
I prayed about it for a week, but God in His gracious patience, knew I wasn’t ready yet and through multiple confirmations, He told me to say no.
When the new Board of volunteers was announced in May, I was really happy to see who God had chosen. . .but at the same time, I felt sad. When I saw the selected five all standing up there together, I felt sadness that I wasn’t up there with them.
I was shocked by this feeling and I did a little prayer right then and said, “God! I know you told me to say no to apply for the Board but then why do I feel sad that I am not up there?” I was reminded, “There is a season for everything.” I accepted that but didn’t think too much more about it because I did not want to think about potentially having that much responsibility in the future. No, thank you.
Now in June, the selected President of this Bible Study Group, asked me to pray about joining the Board. My first reaction was to say no because I felt I was needed as a volunteer more in my church, but I agreed to pray over it and get back to her with an answer.
As I was praying, God reminded me of that seed He planted in my heart in January and I was encouraged to take a role on the Board, so I accepted.
For the next weeks, I would get together with the Bible Study President to discuss, well, Bible Study items. One day in August, we got like usual --but this time she also had a special request for me. Just as she started to explain this request, before she gave me any details, I heard God, loud and clear, “You are going to say yes.” And I’m little taken aback and start to wonder, “What is this I am saying yes to?” But before I can even finish reciting that question in my mind, God continued and said, “She is going to ask you to be President.”
I’m not kidding, when I say I’m a like little Gideon. Even though I knew she was going to ask me to be President my heartbeat sped up as soon as she said it. And as she went over some of the duties, I began to doubt (does God really want me as President?).
Are you starting to see why I say God is graciously patient with me? God spoke clearly to me and I still doubted.
Have you ever been in an intimidating situation where you felt like you were out in the middle of the water way over your head? This is a little like what I was feeling.
There’s a story in Matthew Chapter 14 verses 22-31 about when the disciples are in a boat during a crazy bad storm and they see what they believe to be a ghost walking on the water. They were terrified and Jesus spoke to them and said, “Don’t be afraid! Take courage, I am here.” Then Peter called out to him, “Lord, if it is really you, tell me to come to you on the water. And Jesus said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
I’m a little like Peter too, but thankfully God is there waiting for me to call out so He can lift me up.
Now, as I was praying and getting used to the idea of becoming President of this Bible Study, I was reminded of what I had been asking in my prayers. There is a song called Oceans by Hillsong United, and I would sing that as a prayer to God. The part that really resonated with me goes, “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me, take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger.”
God showed me, I could stay where I was comfortable serving this Bible Study OR I could choose to trust Him and let Him answer my prayer to take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, but first I had to answer His call step out of the boat and say yes to becoming President.
Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." God called me to be President of this Bible Study this year.
I am God’s handiwork ... and so are you.
God has already prepared an assignment specifically for you to fulfill. If you are anything like me or Gideon or Peter you might doubt what God is calling you to do. It happens. The important thing is to not let your doubt drown you or distract you from God’s purpose for you.
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